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A Guy Goes Into A Bar

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A guy goes into a bar, sits down, and orders a drink. He starts eating the beer nuts at the bar and he hears a voice say, “Wow! You look great tonight!”

The man looks over at the bartender, who seems to ignore the voice. The man keeps drinking and eating beer nuts until he hears something again!

“That’s an awesome shirt! You are amazing!”

He looks around and he’s the only guy in the place, so he asks the bartender if he had heard anything and the bartender asks, “Was the voice saying bad things or good things?” The man replies, “Good things, why?”

The bartender says, “It must be the complimentary nuts.”

One Cent

A guy goes into a bar one night and asks for a beer.
“Certainly, sir. That’ll be one cent,” says the bartender.
“One penny?” exclaims the guy.
The bartender nods his head.
So the guy glances over at the menu and he asks, “Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak with French fries and a tossed salad?”
“Certainly sir,” replies the bartender.
“How much money?” inquires the guy.
“Four cents,” the bartender replies.
“Four cents?” exclaims the guy. “Where’s the guy who owns this place?”
The bartender replies, “Upstairs with my wife.”
The guy says, “What’s he doing with your wife?”
The bartender replies, “Same as what I’m doing to his business.”

IRS Agents

A guy goes into a bar with an alligator and asks the bartender, “Do you serve IRS agents here?”

“Of course,” he says.

“Good, give me a beer, and give the agent to my ‘gator!”